


Do they have strippers on Pluto?

by crazycatt71



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Humor, Hurt Clint Barton, Pain Pills make Clint Loopy, Pre-Relationship, high on medication, pre-winterhawk, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24545347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazycatt71/pseuds/crazycatt71
Summary: Bucky Clintsits for the first time.Clint babbles when he's high on pain pillsBucky agrees to go on a date, to Pluto
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, Pre WinterHawk
Comments: 8
Kudos: 116





	Do they have strippers on Pluto?

There was a battle; no surprise. Clint got hurt; also no surprise, he was a squishy, unenhanced human with no sense of self preservation. So he ended in a bed on the medical floor of the tower, doped up on pain killers because his “It's not a big deal, guys.” Injuries, were in fact a big deal.

The team stood outside the door to his room until the doctor came out and told them he'd be ok in a few weeks. There was a collective sigh of relief as everybody started to shuffle off to do their post mission rituals. Natasha studied Bucky for a minute, before reaching into a pocket to pull out a small book.

“It's your first time Clint sitting so I'll give you a few pointers. ” She said, handing him the book. “The most important think, he is not ok until the doctor says he's ok and write down anything he says while high on drugs in this book.”

Bucky gave her a WTF look. She just patted his arm and smiled.

“You'll understand soon enough.” She said cryptically as she walked away.

Bucky watched her go, then shrugged and went into Clint's room. He'd heard how much Clint hated being in medical; who didn't, but really, how hard could it be to keep one basic human in bed.

Turns out, when it was Clint Barton, high on drugs, it was pretty damn hard. He was not in bed when Bucky walked in. After a second of panic, he spotted the archer in the corner, behind some medical equipment, staring at the wall, frowning.

“Hey, Clint,” Bucky called as he walked up, not wanting to startle the man. 

Clint spun around, crashing in to the equipment, almost faceplanting onto the floor before Bucky grabbed him.

“I wasn't trying to insult the tree.” Clint told him.

“Of course you weren’t.” Bucky replied.

“It' just the color green is really scary.”

Thinking about the Hulk, Bucky agreed with him. Stoned Clint was funny, which explained the book. It was a record of potential blackmail material or at least humorous entertainment.

“You are supposed to be in bed.” Bucky told him as he tried to maneuver a loopy, loose limbed archer toward that particular piece of furniture.

`I'd rather live on Pluto.” Clint informed him as he tried to wriggle away. “I wanted to go to a strip club, on Pluto.”

In the brief second Bucky paused to wonder if they had strippers on Pluto, Clint squirmed out of his grasp and stumbled for the door.

“I'll drive.” He announced.

“No, you won't.” Bucky told him, grabbing his arm.

“Ok, you drive.”

“I don't have a car.” Bucky said as he wrapped his arms around his waist, lifted him up, and carried him to the bed.

“Stay.” He ordered, pinning him to the bed.

Clint gave him an innocent look, then began bending, twisting, and flopping around like a greased ferret, all the while babbling away.

“He really didn't want to milk the cow.”

Bucky assured him he didn't have to.

“The pirate stole his cookies"

Bucky had to really hold on to keep him from going to get them back.

“I need to take the cake out of the oven.”

Bucky had to call Nat, dialing the phone with his flesh hand while holding on to Clint with the other, and have her tell him she'd do it, which she did, while laughing at Bucky, which Bucky thought was rude.

“The team should wear matching tutus when they fight so they would be lighter on their feet.”

Bucky laughed at the images that popped up in his mind. After a fifteen-minute battle, Bucky finally got him settled in to bed.

“You're pretty.” Clint told him with a goofy grin.

“So are you.” Bucky replied, tucking him as tight as he could.

“No, you are. Let's go on a date.”

“If you promise to behave, we can go on a date. After the doctor clears you.” Bucky told him, cutting off another escape plan.

Clint's face scrunched up in thought, then he sighed as his eyes slid closed.

Bucky had just started to think he could relax when his eyes popped back open.

“We can go to a strip club,” he announced, “on Pluto.”

“We can go where ever you want as soon as you're better.”

Clint smiled at him, then fell asleep. Bucky just shook his head, then. opened the book to record everything Clint had said.


End file.
